Among the many labels I carry, “wife,” “mom,” “writer,” and “Christian” are those I live into the most. Some of these I chose for myself, some were gifts endowed by the Creator. It’s taken me a very long time to see them as such: gifts, intended to be enjoyed but also returned in sacrificial praise to the One who is writing my story — and yours.
The Dirty Laundry Show began as an outlet where I could spew all of the bitterness, frustration, and discomfort that arose from becoming a mother. Though I’m grateful to have my children, they were, for me, an incredible means of MUCH-needed maturing after a lifetime spent “doing me.” It’s still shocking to me how very clueless I was as to the depth and breadth of selfishness rooted in my spirit.
When this self-obsession met with two (equally self-obsessed) tots, something had to give. What followed was a long, slow, painful crushing and pressing into the role of “mom,” a process with which I seemed eternally at odds. All sorts of ugliness ensued, from tearful tantrums to full-blown emotional explosions (and that was just me). There was a time in our lives when my husband, a combat vet struggling with PTSD, feared leaving the children alone with me for long periods of time. Such was the level of my rage and rebellion.
Nothing could explain the seismic shift in my attitude and approach to parenting except the work of the Holy Spirit. Over the course of a decade, He took me from one of those prodigal children shaking my fists at the sky to a card-carrying Bible believer eager to raise a son and daughter of the faith. That’s not all. This former rage-aholic workaholic alcoholic is a (*gulp*) homeschool mom, arguably the most intense, insufferable group of moms in existence — and loving most minutes of it.
I guess what I’m trying to convey is that this blog covers a long period in my life where my view of my purpose and personhood changed rather dramatically. My sincere prayer is that it brings levity and perspective to your parenting journey. Airing my “dirty laundry” is my way of making peace with life’s chaos and finding the kindred souls who can see such messes and say, “me too.”
If you feel like the label of “mom” or “Christian” or “wife” don’t quite fit like you’d wish, you’re not alone. If you feel like you’re wasting away in mindless mediocrity, toiling thanklessly day after day in the trenches, fear not! You are far from forgotten. Yours is a calling greater than most. Yours is the moment-to-moment mission work of immense eternal value: raising up the next generation of faith-filled, faithful followers who will prove out the love of Christ and the rescuing power of the gospel through salt-and-light living in an increasingly dark world.
To Him be all the glory.
the dirty laundry show 